Of Men and Sheep
by Nelle
Summary: What do you get when you combine Duncan MacLeod, Methos and a sheep?


Of Men and Sheep

Nelle Donaghue 

"Of Sheep and Men" 

DISCLAIMERS: 

I do not own them, I just wanted to play for a while. Duncan MacLeod, Connor MacLeod, Methos and the sheep belong to their respective owners. I didn't have this beta'd, but I ran it through spell check twice. 

"Did you know Duncan, that you talk in your sleep?" Queried Adam Pierson, AKA Methos, the worlds oldest immortal at 5000 years. 

"I do?" Asks a worried Duncan MacLeod. 

"Yeah, I found out some interesting stuff too. Stuff I would never have thought that you would do. Horrible stuff, not very boy scout like." 

"Like what??" 

"Something involving sheep." 

"Sheep, what sheep? I don't know what you are talking about Methos." Denies an increasingly worried Duncan. 

"I never would have thought that you would have EVER done that to a sheep. A poor defenseless animal. I always thought that you defended the weak, even if they were not human." 

"I never did anything with a sheep, honest." 

"Keep telling that to yourself, MacLeod. You are just in denial." 

"I AM NOT IN DENIAL." By this point Duncan is very worried and paranoid. If Methos knew what he did with a sheep, well he cringed at that thought. It would surely end up in a report somewhere. 

As if reading Duncan's mind, Methos replied, "You know denial is a river in Egypt, right? You know, if you tell me now, I won't write it down anywhere. This story would not end up in places like Watcher Reports or the local paper." 

"That denial joke was a very bad joke." Duncan tries to distract the old man. 

"Just be glad that I haven't told the Nate the Snake Joke. I have made that joke last for hours before. Now quit trying to change the subject, it won't work with me." 

"Fine, I give up Methos. I was very, very drunk one night in Scotland...." 

~Flashback 1652~ 

"Hey Mac, there is this just beautiful lady here waiting for you." Yells Connor MacLeod, Duncan MacLeod's kinsman. 

"What does she look like?" Yells a very drunk Duncan MacLeod, slurring his words horribly. 

"She is just your type." Yells back Connor, he was having trouble not bursting out laughing. "The only condition is that you have to be blindfolded." This last statement worries Duncan a little bit, but hey, he is young, drunk and horny. That combination always made him a bit, how shall we put it, vulnerable to other people's suggestions. Duncan walks out into the stable, blindfolded, he feels what is supposed to be the woman, but oddly enough, she feels like, wool?? But hey, he trusts Connor, so he drops his kilt, and is all ready to start seducing a beauty when he hears Connor's laughter. 

Connor was trying SO hard not to laugh, he was sorely mad at himself for laughing. 

Duncan took off his blindfold, he was horrified by what he saw. It was a sheep! 

"Connor, I will get you for this, I promise you." 

"I would not do that laddie, after all, I know what you were fully intending to do with that sheep. Just remember, that since we are immortal, I will remember it forever." 

"You bastard." 

~End Flashback~ 

"You happy now Methos??" 

"Quite happy in fact. All I wanted was confirmation of that Scottish Joke." 

"What Scottish joke would that be?" 

Methos, in a *very* bad Scottish accent, "My name is Seamus. I built all of these roads around here with my bare hands. But do they call me Seamus the road builder? No. You see all of these trees around here? I planted them all with my own hands. But do they call me Seamus the tree planter? No. But you shag just one sheep..." 

"Not funny Methos, not funny at all. I very nearly completely disgraced myself then. Connor swore that he would never tell another soul." 

"Remind me to thank Connor next time I see him. By the way Duncan, you don't really talk in your sleep." 

"W-w-w-what?" Duncan sputters, he knew that he should have been a little more cautious around the old man. 

"Don't worry, your secret is safe with me, I don't know how safe it is with Connor though." With this, Methos leaves the room, leaving behind an infuriated Duncan MacLeod. 

THE END! 

Blame this little muse on my friend Jamie. He first told me the joke, and also the Nate the Snake joke. FNORD! 


End file.
